Friday, June 13, 2008

Father's Day Challenge: Healing Rifts between Daddies and Daughters

This is a Father's Day Challenge.
It brings the ultimate gift to many dads out there once called "deadbeat" dads or those who lost touch with their children for whatever reason. It's funny how some of us abhor holidays and rant on about how crass the commericialism of such holidays can be. But they are scheduled occasions to honor this or that. This one is to honor our fathers.

I wrote this after listening to WNYC's Brian Lehrer Show this morning.
They did a piece on a memoir called The Film Club about a professor whose son preferred to drop out of school at 16 and he created a kind of film school for him. After the show, they had open phones for gift ideas for Father's Day. I wrote this:
I am 45.
At the age of 40 I met my birth father for the first time. My dad was not in my life. Last year he told me "I was young and foolish and you're mom said 'You don't have to stay'." So he didn't. My father passed away of prostate cancer last Feb. -- one of too many black men suffering from a disease with a 90% cure rate.

The Challenge: be the first to reach out to your dad and do what I did. I thanked him five years ago for having a roll in the hay with my mom. If it wasn't for him (as well as my mom) I would have the remarkable life I have as a scholar, performer and coach.

Another kind of gift:
I wrote a song in honor of my reunion with my dad called "BLACK CAN BE ME" a blues about what can come from reconciling with your father and the positive impact it has on loving others esp. men.

The CD would be a great gift with my story for your dad or any dad whose daughter or son has not made the move yet.

BE THE TRUE REVOLUTION (self-produced) is the name of the album and "Black Can Be Me" the single - Here are the links to both on iTunes and

Would love to hear your stories about your dad and people who overcame the distance between daddies and daughters.

1 comment:

Connie Vasquez said...

Kyra; thank you for this. It really is possible people. I was told my father died when I was 3. For my 30th bday my Mom told me he'd been calling periodically over the years to see how I was (nope, not telepathically from beyond). I did what it took to find him (living on the Upper East Side - lol!) and I got to meet him before he died. He'd always loved me and watched over me as must as he was allowed to. Find that for yourself and your Dad, too.