"Most of us are much more hurt when our feelings are [not returned or are disrespected] than when our behaviors are criticized. This is especially true about our hidden desires for someone to nurture us. In an intimate relationship, this is the experiential truth that is most risky to show. When we reveal our dependence on the other person, criticism can feel devastating.
[Sometimes] We’ve lost some hope that we can immediately experience that tender connection. When this happens, we can’t let go of the pain unless we have the capacity to mourn. When we have to pull back and rely on ourselves alone, it’s important to feel sad. Many of us do not do this well because we have a sense of shame about sadness. And because we’re blocked from feeling sad, we’re often blocked from pulling back into our own frame of reference. Healthy sadness is an essential tool for deepening intimacy. It allows us to lessen our risks because it allows us to separate emotionally when we need to." Bryce KayeCan you tell me
.......your darkest secret
and share about
.........the greatest meal
you'll never have?
©2008 Kyra Gaunt
Thursday, June 12, 2008
I had a great experience of sadness today. Just being with that I was truly sad and shared it with a friend. True intimacy emerged. Intimacy still is so often collapsed with sex and physical interaction. Found a great article on intimacy and boundaries. (Photo from Intimacy: The Sensual Essence of Flowers by Joyce Tenneson)