Mechanical parts. Male + Female

Mechanical parts
male + female
Social ambiguity
Together must we fail?

Love is simple
Bring that to the table. - Kyra Gaunt ©2008


Inspired by kinetic sculpture by Arthur Ganson (see his Ted Talk at http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/view/id/267)

TITLE: Arthur Ganson - Little yellow chair

Sculpture as a metaphor for Collaboration & Partnership

Last year while teaching about Baroque music, I discovered through a YouTube video the Baroque sculpture of David of David and Goliath fame by Gian Lorenzo Bernini (1623). The idea of sculpting life became a metaphor for lots of things that matter to me. Sculpting my day. Sculpting or designing how partnership could look to me--what would fulfill me. Seeing it, like Michelangelo saw David in the stone of marble before he began to sculpt it, seeing what I what and taking the actions to have that vision fulfilled.

We are not so great about that when it comes to relationships. Not simply our romantic visions of relationships or our practical experiences with any relationship. Our relationship with our parent of the opposite sex. With the boss of the opposite sex. With our children of the opposite sex. I am very interested in the gender dynamics we have envisioned for ourselves in the opposite sex scenario. Why do we make it so hard--like a stone that cannot be altered?

I see myself resisting a parternship around leading and facilitating powerful relationships between men and women particularly in dating, romance and marriage. Alex, my best friend from grad school's husband, has been doing similar work with gender relations in Philly and he and I have been talking here and there about collaborating and I notice that my vision of our collaboration is laden with stereotypes about working or partnering with men in business.

I notice I don't know how to dance in conversation with him. I am always thinking he's dominating the conversation. So what do I do? Dominate back. Don't say all that there is to say. I start acting like the subordinate woman and then the call takes forever because I am mostly not doing the things I know to do or say. Trying to be nice. (stinky!! yuck!!)

But how great it is to see the situation as that block of stone to carve and create in instead of off the bat deciding this is not going to work. What if being in relationship, in communication, with the opposite sex is like getting a chunk of stone to work with, to create from, and you can create ANYTHING? No, not like fixing and changing the other person like there an object to be molded or altered. I mean really partnering in conversation--collaborating around what we say, could say and have never said in the moment. What would that be like for you?

For me I think it's like the magnetic sculpture below. I found it in another YouTube video. Can you tell I am a YouTube geek? Out of creating events for Success with the Opposite Sex: Get Related not Dated (TM), I have discovered the power of using other kinds of tactile arts and our senses to get at things we don't always talk about in gender relations. Oh, and I'll tell you more about what Alex and I will be working on together as it materializes...as we sculpt. Alex is a poet and a motivational speaker and his website is http://4mankind.net




Magnetic Sculpture by Sachiko Kodama and Minkako Takeno: "Protrude + Flow"

Come to your Senses at Success with the Opposite Sex Fri Feb 1st at 8pm

Our next event is coming up on Fri Feb 1 at 8pm and it will be fantastic! The theme is SENSUALITY. We'll be discussing how to activate your senses and surrendering to sensuality. What has SENSUALITY meant to you, what experiences have you had? Would you be willing to discover it newly in the future if it produced the results you really want? Are you confusing Sensuality with Sexuality. We often do.
The sculpture to the left is by Michael Orgel titled Agave Urn.
Click image to purchase.

Consider that if you resist surrendering to your own or others' sensuality or sensualness, you may be preventing yourself from experiencing all of life fully right now. At the February event you'll have and opportunity to explore indirectly what prevents you from surrendering to sensuality with the opposite sex in various contexts.

This is going to be a juicy, really intimate evening of conversation. Come discover how you would rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 5 with 1 being "being friendly" and 5 being "nothing hidden". Whereever you seem to be on the scale is not as important as what you think about all that and getting intimately connected to yourself around the topic of SENSUALITY.

On Sunday Jan 20th, I went to the Kevin Powell MLK Event at Kumble theatre/Long Island University in Brooklyn co-sponsored by April Silver's Akila Worksongs Events. After the event, I was sharing about SUCCESS with the OPPOSITE SEX (TM) with a divorced sister who is raising two boys, one is 19 and the other is 8. We got to talking about how important it is to talk with the opposite sex instead of just the same sex and she shared a wonderful experience that inspired me about sensuality.

She said her youngest REALLY LOVES BREASTS since he was very young. When he's close to a woman's breasts he wants to touch them (innocent sensuality). She started to clasp her own breasts without thinking to demonstrate for me. She told me she had began to say to him "Big boys don't do that" to try to curb his behavior. An adult male friend of hers told her to stop telling him that. She asked why. He said "I'm a big boy and I do it!" I loved this story because it made her point and mine. We are two different sexes and we need each other to learn about the other. She discovered that she doesn't really know what it is to raise a boy to be a man. She knows how to raise him to be human. Success with the Opposite Sex (TM) is adult men and women teaching each other all the things we can't know about the opposite sex around various topics.

What is sensuality as a lived and ongoing phenomenon?
This story made me think about expanding the conversation for Feb 1 to include the many levels to talking about sensuality. Some have to do with wanting to be close, to touch, to feel, to express your desire. Some have to do with learning to curb your desire in public settings as you grow older long before your hormones kick in sexually. Some have to do with learning to let go after all that suppressed and quite important training (what's appropriate when) and later as an adult you can surrender to your desires and to your partner's desires not to mention the simple desires we share with loved ones outside of romantic encounters. An embrace with a parent can be sensual or not.

Are you willing to explore surrendering like we all once did on Friday, February 1st? I promise it will be safe, you can share if you wish or not. The bulk of the evening will be intimate conversation and some interactions around sensuality. We will also practice receiving a hand massage from the opposite sex to see how willing you are to experience surrendering to sensuality.

There are several spots left, please register before the weekend. The fee is $20 which covers wine, wings, materials, advertising, and the facilitation & design of the monthly event. The goal is to have two of these a month for up to 30 people by May and to facilitate a major event this summer with 100 people (50 men and 50 women).

Whatever you want is available out of participating in the Get Related not Dated (TM) technology designed for developing your Success with the Opposite Sex (TM). 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed or your money back.

Kyra G